I’m not a professional, but I feel like [grown] kids from dysfunctional families should begin to accept the ideas that:

1) No matter how “not-bad” your parent was…there is most likely a 99.999% chance they will NEVER admit to or apologize for what was any kind of abuse/neglect.

2) It’s NO excuse, but the fact is if your parent came from an abusive/neglecting family, his or her idea of growing up to have a perfect [better parent than THEIR own parent] family (lying/pretending) was/is probably a priority that is/was much higher than anything else. They may have even done exactly what THEIR parents did wrong…they maybe told YOU things to make you believe: “You’re so lucky to have it better than I did…”, when maybe it was just the house that was different.

3) From personal experience, it is BEST to NEVER share that you are going through therapy. I don’t know WHY I shared this detail, but it could’ve been during an awkwardly quiet conversation that needed a topic. Bottom line: If they know, it will only lead to emotional manipulation and baited questions.

4) “Yes, I’m doing well. How about you?” Remember this simple phrase and you will feel better at family events.

5) “No, [optional filler: sorry]! I’m actually busy that night/day! [Hope you guys have a good time, though!]” This is also a very good phrase to practice. Adding ‘sorry’ doesn’t have to be genuine: but it can help finish the conversation more smoothly/quickly.

Anxiety Tip of the day/night:

MAKE time to sit with nothing to do. Open a window or sit outside, with no TV/music, or just quiet music.

***I’ve been trying this in the morning, while I wake up and sit on the couch. I notice a huge difference when I do this, instead of waking up and immediately starting my day by shoving myself into work/etc…or listening to what I call “throw yourself out into the world” AKA my get-ready music.

Frustrations with my accent. (Possibly from dissociation/trauma)

Hey, I don’t purposely talk with a mixed accent. It is very frustrating when I try to repeat something differently (in more standard U.S. English), but it still sounds the same 10x after. I’m not about to beat myself up about it, though, because plenty of people “don’t like” accents, so they will never accept the idea of listening to them, anyway.

It is very frustrating when my own family can’t even understand what I’m saying in my first language…but somehow, strangers can. It’s even more frustrating how my parents are getting older and suddenly “can’t understand” people with accents, so it’s something for them to laugh about.

All I ask is: If you still WANT me to talk to you…just TRY making sense of my “weird” accent. Don’t cut me off on everything I say, JUST because you don’t listen. THANKS.

(Note: If you keep making such a huge spectacle of it and stopping me, mid-sentence with a ridiculous question like, “Did you say ‘5 o’clock /mating/’, or ‘5 o’clock /meeting/’??” …I WILL talk less to you. If you listen to the context, you WON’T have/half to/2 ask/aks. Also, if you were able to narrow down the words…don’t ask stupid questions. Just saying.)

And here is where I’m gonna leave this ridiculousness, so I can go have a better day…peace…

allhailivysaur

fandomqueer:

onlytimewillchangeit:

cishetssuck:

friendly reminder that:

  • you are not weak if you want meds for your disorder
  • you are not weak if you relapse once
  • you are not weak if you relapse a thousand times
  • you are not weak if some kinds of therapy don’t work for you
  • you are not weak if some kinds of meds don’t work for you
  • you are not weak if you have a mental disorder.
I will reblog every time.

needed this